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You Can Survive Even the Most Painful Feelings

It is normal to believe that we would not be able to survive a traumatic life event such as the death of our child, our spouse being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, or any number of other tragic and traumatic life events. However, once we develop the ability and courage to stay fully present with whatever we […]

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Video: Take the Risk of Diving Into Your Fears or Pain

I have often talked about suffering less by accepting and being fully present with pain or other symptoms. But, this seems counterintuitive and risky. A common question is: When I’m really afraid or in a lot of pain, why would I want to experience more of that? Wouldn’t it be better to do things to […]

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Acceptance of Feelings Creates Self-Acceptance

When we learn how to practice coming home to the body, especially when feeling overwhelmed by too much to do, traumatic life events, or by strong emotions, we develop loving self-care, self-compassion, self-empowerment, self-efficacy, self-valuing, resilience, and an increased sense of aliveness. In learning how to practice being fully awake and present in the body, […]

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Video: You Are What You Practice

We are all masters of practice in that we are practicing something in every moment. We commonly practice unhealthy behaviors and behaviors that are not aligned with our personal life values. If we go around all day being self-critical, we will have a very negative self-image. If we practice behaviors that make us feel good […]

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Video: Meaning and Purpose to Your Life

The terms meaning and purpose often appear together, and I would frame their relationship this way: when we act with purpose, we take actions that are important enough to lend meaning to our lives. Meaningful actions are always in accord with our personal life values, whether we value accomplishment, wellbeing, comfort and safety, healthy relationships, […]

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Video: Ships Are Safe In The Harbor But They Are Built To Sail The World

Many of us hold ourselves back from doing things that would enhance our lives because we’re afraid of embarrassment, shame, or failure. On the other hand, some people, especially those with bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder, act impulsively in order to avoid the same very uncomfortable feelings. We all do this to some extent, […]

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Video: The Importance of Being Open and Vulnerable

We are a lot like lobsters. Lobsters have a hard exoskeleton, which they must shed several times in order to grow into a mature lobster. Because of the hard shell, the only way for the lobster to grow up is to shed its exoskeleton each time it outgrows it. Between the time it sheds its […]

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Video: The Importance of Setting Goals

Dr. Carl Simonton, under whom I trained at the Simonton Cancer Center, always impressed upon participants at his center’s cancer retreats that energy is essential to healing and that the act of pursuing goals is itself energizing. Setting goals helps us conceptualize our reasons for living. Once we have a purpose for being, we are […]

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Video: Living By Your Values and Goals

Many people go through life blaming others for their own failings. Coach John Wooden of UCLA taught his basketball players to take responsibility and work hard to change any dysfunctional behavior or any behavior that was getting in the way of pursuing their personal values and goals. One of the many famous Woodisms was: “Failure […]

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Video: Our Behavior Is The Result Of Our Thoughts

Every thought has the power to push us to act a certain way. For example, if you believe you do not have what it takes to achieve your goals, you will not take the necessary action to make your goals a reality. If you believe that you do in fact have what it takes to […]

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