This introduction to women’s self-defense is fun, yet effective. Most women are afraid to train in a combative art, but in this class, you can do so very safely.

Women’s Self-Defense and Personal Protection

After a lifetime of practice in the Asian martial arts, I now spend my time exclusively teaching women’s self-defense and self-protection.

What would you do if you had to defend yourself? This introduction to women’s self-defense is effective yet fun. Learn how to be prepared, not paranoid, in everyday situations. You don’t have to be physically strong to defend yourself; you need the most effective strategies. Learn to sense an attack before it happens by recognizing subtle cues. We use simple, straightforward strategies which target a predator’s most vulnerable areas, making them lose interest in you. Join this class to gain peace of mind while out in the world. Don’t wait until it happens to you. SIGN UP TODAY

Richard Dimitri invented this technique, which I teach in the class. The sound is of the intended victim (Helen Stranzl) growling ferociously. When attacked, she used this very simple technique of attacking his eyes and throat with her fingernails. Notice that she went after him as if she’d been attacked for real.

Section One: Situational Awareness and Profiling

The self-defense tactics and strategy I teach are for when your situational awareness and profiling fail. By mastering the practice of situational awareness, which includes learning to profile everyone around you and learning to identify anomalies, you can dramatically improve your chances of staying safe. In fact, if you could practice high-level situational awareness and profiling all the time, you would never need to train in physical self-defense.

Unfortunately, the human condition includes a mind that wanders off into thoughts about the past and future. None of us are capable of maintaining a focused mind all or even most of the time. The reality is that we all spend most of our time not being fully present. For that reason, it is important to train in physical self-defense, which is the focus of the second section of this webpage. I also advocate mindfulness training in order to learn to recognize when our minds have wandered off from the present. Vipassana is a great foundational training. In the sixth section of this webpage, I describe a dynamic form of mindfulness practice that greatly enhances situational awareness, self-defense, and enhanced wellbeing.

Situational awareness allows you to profile potential predators and bullies of various types and to accurately predict their behavior. A situational awareness expert can spot extremely subtle anomalies that are missed by untrained people. The expert has highly developed profiling skills, such as the ability to read very subtle nonverbal communication and biometric changes. Acquisition of this ability will not only warn you of danger, but it is also a skill that enhances and deepens all interpersonal interactions with everyone you know.

Whenever I’m around strangers I superficially profile them; it only takes seconds. The profiling I do is much simpler than what an FBI profiler does. Criminal profiling is about solving crimes. The profiling I advocate specifically relates to personal safety. It includes atmospherics, biometrics, proxemics, haptics, kinesics, vocalics, and chronemics (described later). Much of the profiling I do is as simple as paying attention to what someone is talking about. Ask yourself if this is someone you are comfortable being around.

Section three of this webpage is about maintaining healthy, protective boundaries, and part of that includes profiling people before getting into relationships with them.

The cultivation of curiosity is an essential element in the practice of situational awareness and profiling. Profiling requires that you be curious about people. When a person you are in conversation with says something that makes you a little uncomfortable or confused, interrogate by asking questions until you understand exactly what that person meant by that comment. It is important to question the person with an attitude of innocent curiosity rather than one of being judgmental. To develop those skills, it helps to practice curiosity about people throughout the day using your profiling skills. This skillset at a high level is part of a greater set of skills sometimes referred to as tradecraft.

Anytime you suspect a possible threat and you cannot avoid the suspicious person of interest, question them about what they’re saying. I use the term person of interest to identify someone I am profiling who seems a little off or suspicious. When detectives in law enforcement interrogate a person of interest, that person is a suspect in a crime that was committed. They gather information not just by the verbal answers the suspect gives, but they also pay particular attention to the biometrics of the suspect. We all communicate far more non-verbally than we do with our words. A few examples are changes in micro-expressions, pupil dilation or constriction, sudden changes in skin tone and color, changes in rate and pitch of speech, and several other factors discussed in greater detail later.

There are people who are considered mind-readers. There is nothing magical about their abilities. They are the experts among experts at reading micro-expressions, biometrics, and micro-movements throughout the body. This is about learning to read the most subtle body-language imaginable. Once you are able to spot pre-threat indicators you will be able to avoid danger.

I have watched dozens of violent attacks that have been caught on security cameras or witnesses’ phones. In all of the incidents it was obvious to me that either the victim had not been situationally aware and therefore missed all the preattack warning indicators or else the person had no self-defense training.

This is dangerously too close.

Whenever I hear a sound I can’t identify, I turn around and make sure it doesn’t represent danger. When I see someone walking straight toward me, I clear the hands to confirm that the person isn’t holding a weapon. Profiling also includes paying close attention to someone’s body language and micro-expressions.

Situational awareness with strangers involves profiling them to look for behaviors that could indicate possible danger. Profiling people you know is based on identifying anomalies from that person’s normal behavior. I will later explain how to profile a person of interest utilizing biometrics, proxemics, haptics, kinesics, vocalics, chronemics, and more.

A person of interest as I use the term is someone who gets your attention because there is something suspicious about that person that makes you uncomfortable. Profiling for our purposes only relates to behavior. For example, how someone dresses is a chosen behavior. Profiling excludes race, nationality, religion, size, body type, age (or which generation they fit into), and gender because these are immutable qualities that are totally useless in personal safety profiling. In recent years there has been a dramatic increase in the number of women caught on camera attacking men and women. So, you should be profiling everyone, not just men. But behavior is the only thing you should include in your profiling.

How someone walks (with serious intention or meandering), breathes (shallow or diaphragmatic), and emotionally expresses, are behaviors that usually are unconscious, unchosen behaviors, but they are behaviors and therefore very useful in profiling.
In profiling someone, the single most important thing to look for is behavior that seems anomalous from normal. Anomalous behavior makes someone a person of interest.

Humans typically miss important cues because they mistakenly believe someone’s race, nationality, socioeconomic status, religion, or political affiliation inform them of danger. In profiling someone, what you need to observe relates to how the person is speaking, gesticulating, interacting with others, and moving. In profiling someone you know, look for any anomalies from that person’s baseline behavior. In profiling a stranger, look for any anomalies from what is considered normal behavior in the culture you are in. Immutable features like race or age tell you nothing of importance in terms of personal safety. Behavior is absolutely the only thing that matters.

The actors portraying dangerous bad guys or tough guys in movies or TV dramas look the part in order to make them more believable. In the real world, violent psychopaths may blend in with everyone else and not look dangerous or tough at all. Someone’s physique and facial bone structure commonly are used by people to predict that person’s behavior. Such criteria are worse than useless; they lead to violence. As an experienced profiler I only focus on observable behavior—both conscious chosen behavior such as what my person of interest talks about and unconscious behavior such as biometrics.

A common question people ask upon meeting someone new is: “Where are you from?” The person asking that question assumes that the answer will help them know something important about that person. In reality, that question distracts the questioner from being able to observe biometrics and subtle nonverbal communication, which can provide very useful information.

Look at peoples’ hands. Notice what they’re holding. With humans the primary weapon is either the hands or a weapon held in the hands. The hands can tell you a lot about a person’s intentions. And when a hand goes under a jacket or shirt, or goes into a pocket, that hand could likely come back out holding a deadly weapon. If you pay attention to hands, you will see people clench their fists and reveal their mood from subtle body-language.

You can tell a lot by speech—changes in pitch, rate of speech, what someone talks about, and how they gesticulate as they talk about it. These changes are unconscious behaviors that tell us a lot about someone’s subtle emotional state.

Both resource predators (robbers) and sexual predators (rapists) look for soft targets and capitalize on the element of surprise. They generally don’t target anyone who looks like a hard target—someone who would fight back.

Animals in the wild instantly recognize predators. They are situationally aware all the time. As soon as a potential predator approaches, they move. This is called Getting Off the X. There is rarely any downside to moving. You don’t need to have solid evidence that the person approaching could pose a threat.

Situational awareness is especially important when you pass through transitional locations. Be particularly aware in transitional areas such as parking garages, parking lots, or long narrow hallways, or any place where you are heading into a corner. When sitting in your parked car, you are in a transitional space and you should have the windows up and the doors locked. Leave enough space between your car and the car in front to allow you to drive away fast if necessary.

Whenever you enter a public restroom which seems quiet and empty, make sure a man or a suspicious-looking woman doesn’t follow you in. Also, a predator may be lurking in a stall.

Situational Awareness should not be confused with paranoia. Paranoia is about living in fear. Situational awareness is a practice of having full appreciation for your surroundings from moment to moment, leading to a feeling of greater aliveness rather than fear. This enhanced feeling of aliveness is due in part to the fact that when you are exceptionally aware of your surroundings, you will be better prepared to recognize anomalies of all types and to take action when required.

Women are often attacked by someone they know. You can use this to your advantage because you know that person’s baseline normal behavior. Any deviation from that person’s baseline behavior should be an immediate warning signal to you that you could be in danger. Profiling someone can be as simple as noticing that someone’s behavior is a little off. For our purposes in simply concerning ourselves with personal safety, there’s no need to do complex FBI profiling.

When you are profiling people, you will see predators in time to either evade them, or if you do get attacked, your situational awareness will allow you to see the attack coming and preemptively attack the predator.

“The wise warrior avoids the battle.” Sun Tzu

“Opportunities multiply as they are seized.” Sun Tzu

As you go through your day, I suggest profiling everyone, focusing on their facial expressions, how they interact with others, their body language, and their biometrics. This practice will actually improve your communication and understanding of friends and family members.

Be on the constant lookout for anomalies; your surroundings will become much more interesting as you begin to see things you previously missed.

If a stranger wants to kidnap and rape you, he will most often ambush you and then threaten to kill you to get you to comply so he can take you to a secondary location. That is something you have to avoid at all costs. Once he has your attention, he may tell you that he doesn’t want to have to kill you and that if you go along with all his demands you will be safe. The reality is that going along with his demands will put you in mortal danger. Even if he threatens you with a gun or knife, you must get away before he gets a chance to take you to a secondary location, because once he has you isolated, it will be too late, and he will have his way with you. You must be creatively deceptive and unpredictable in order to find a way to disable him.

Attacks do not occur without warning, but the warnings are often very subtle and usually go unnoticed by the victims. However, if you practice a high level of situational awareness and honor your intuition, and never tell yourself that you are overreacting, you will usually be safe. In the very rare instance where someone attacks you, you will see it coming and will be prepared to effectively defend yourself.

Situational awareness includes self-awareness. The practice of situational awareness is not just about observing the behavior of others (profiling), it is about self-observation. In the book Gift of Fear, Gavin de Becker, teaches how to pay attention to your own biometrics, such as heartrate, respiration, sweating, muscle tension, and other bodily changes as warning signs before we become consciously aware of someone’s suspicious behavior. For example, whenever I notice those changes in myself, they prompt me to then pay more attention to my environment. Once you know what to look for and can tune in to your own subjective experience, you will be able to trust your intuitive hits.

Practiced at a high level, you will sense potential danger before it happens, allowing you to not be where the threat is, and you will be able to protect others by warning them of the threats you see. Many times, you won’t even be aware of seeing or hearing anything suspicious, but you will get an intuitive hit that a certain person or group of people standing around are behaving in a way that could indicate a possible threat.

Human predators can be very cunning. A predator can appear harmless in order to get close to you. Then, in a brief moment when you are distracted, the predator will make his or her move.

Here are more safety tips:

Whenever you are in a public place, make a game of looking to see what is out of place or anomalous from baseline.
Whenever you are in a public place, make a game of looking to see what is potentially dangerous about someone’s behavior around you.
If a man or woman approaches you either for help or who tries to get to know you, you must be suspicious; that individual should now be a person of interest for you, requiring your best profiling skills. If you are feeling uncomfortable with that person, honor that feeling and keep your distance physically and make it clear in a loud voice so that others can hear that you are not interested.
If you ever see someone walking toward you who suddenly looks left and right, you are about to be attacked; if it’s too late to get away, you will need to preemptively attack the instant the person goes to touch you. But with good situational awareness you will likely spot that person early enough to walk away.
Are you aware of when someone in your immediate environment is on cocaine, crystal meth, PCP (angel dust), or some other street drug? Whenever you notice anyone who is acting in a way that makes you fearful, get away immediately. If they are on certain street drugs they will act in unpredictable ways and when they attack someone, they use extreme violence.
Guys Hanging Out: Many rapes and muggings occur when a victim ignores an obvious potential threat. For example, you are walking through a garage, through a park, or down a deserted alley or street and you spot one or more men hanging out, just looking around. You wonder if they are up to no good, but you ignore your intuition and tell yourself that you’re just being paranoid as you continue to walk to your intended destination. Always err on the side of caution. It is better to go an alternate way or if that’s not possible, don’t go anywhere near them, even if it means you won’t be able to return to your car. Always maintain calm awareness and act in accord with your intuition.
Elevators: Always be aware of everyone around you. When waiting for an elevator or anything, always stand with your back to a wall if at all possible. When in an empty elevator, if someone suspicious enters, get out, even if you are not yet at your destination floor. Whenever you are anywhere outside your house or other protected area, be aware of people in front and in back of you. If you are about to get into an elevator with someone in it who looks suspicious to you, wait for the next elevator. Avoid standing next to the elevator buttons because it gives a predator an excuse to get close to you. If you find yourself in an elevator with someone you are not sure about, watch his (or her) every move. If he or she presses the Stop button, you must preemptively attack, because there is no good reason anyone would press the Stop button.
Park your vehicle under bright lights and avoid parking in an isolated area, whether in a garage or on the street.
Is it safer to take the elevator or stairway? I use whichever one is more likely to be used by the most people. Avoid any dark or isolated area, whether in a garage or on the street. A predator can be lurking in a stairwell or in an elevator. The safest route is the one with the most people.
When driving, if anyone ever walks in front of your car or up to the side of your car for any reason other than to cross the street, drive around that person without stopping even if it means driving over the curb and onto the sidewalk. You could easily be carjacked if you stop.
When driving, if anyone ever drives in front of your car and stops for any reason other than that their vehicle is blocked, drive around that car without stopping, even if it means driving over the curb and onto the sidewalk. This is another way you could easily be carjacked.
When driving, if you think you are being followed, drive to the nearest police station or anywhere with lots of people. If you are absolutely certain someone is following you, also call 911. Do not drive home—you don’t want that person knowing where you live.

Make a habit of scanning the space around you whether you are driving, walking, or sitting with friends in a public space.

Scan the space around you for the wide variety of signs or signals that something is amiss. Learn to identify subtle signs that the stranger approaching you could pose a threat. The way people walk, gesticulate and speak will give you clues. Sometimes you won’t consciously be able to identify the specifics of why you are suspicious of an individual but always honor your fear.
Scan the space around you for potential threats: Unless you are home or somewhere where everyone in the room is someone you know well, scan the room. Scanning is a way to unobtrusively and covertly profile people. The way the person walks, stands, gesticulates, along with the facial expressions all give you great insight into that person’s nature and intentions.
Scan the space around you for escape exits—doors, windows hallways, from which you may escape. Scan the room to find reflective surfaces in order to have more warning if a suspicious person suddenly enters. If there is shooting, keep in mind that bullets go through walls—unless that wall is concrete, stone or some other very solid surface.

Other profiling behaviors to watch for as you scan a room with your eyes and ears:

Someone who keeps looking over his or her shoulder.
Someone who appears unusually fidgety.
Someone who looks uncomfortable.
Someone who seems very distracted.
Someone who keeps patting or checking a place on the body. It could be an illegal weapon.
Someone whose behavior contradicts their words. For example, it could be someone whose words are conciliatory but whose body language and emblems (hand gestures) give off a sense of anger, superiority, or dominance.
Someone who is engaged in some task yet seems to be noticeably unfocused. For example, let’s say you are in your local coffee shop and as usual you see a lot of people working on their laptops as they enjoy their coffee. But then you notice one person who keeps looking up and scanning the room. This person seems very uncomfortable and distracted. That person’s strange behavior does not mean he or she is dangerous, but he would immediately become a person of interest and I would profile him. If he gets up, leaving his laptop and backpack behind I might say something to him in a loud voice about it not being safe leaving his valuables behind. If he reacts suspiciously, everyone would then be looking at him and we could all evacuate the building. I have occasionally been in a coffee shop when someone sitting near me asks me to watch his or her laptop before heading to the bathroom. I always watch to make sure the person really goes to the bathroom and doesn’t exit the bldg. If they exit the building I’d be concerned about a bomb.

There are many threat indicators used in profiling. Most of what we all communicate is nonverbal. Someone’s words may seem perfectly benign, but that person’s meta-communication will often tell a very different story. Profiling people includes the following:

ATMOSPHERICS refers to a subjective experience of the mood in an environment. For example, you walk into a room of people and there is tension in the air. Your sense of tension in the room will be based on biometrics, proxemics, haptics, etc.
BIOMETRICS are observable physiological and behavioral changes in someone. A few examples include pupil dilation, blanching, and flushing. Blanching of facial color commonly indicates extreme fear and this is true even with the darkest of skin color. Facial and neck flushing could indicate anger or shame. Facial expression and the person’s meta-communication are needed to definitively discern the exact emotion the person is experiencing and his or her intention.
PROXEMICS relates to the physical distance between people who are in verbal or nonverbal communication. Cultural differences aside, this can indicate how comfortable the people feel with each other or the nature of their relationship. Even when you can’t hear their words, you will know a lot by their proxemics.
HAPTICS refers to the nonverbal communication based of how people are in physical contact. For example, different messages are communicated in touching someone’s head, face, back, shoulder, upper arm, forearm, or hand. Again, it is important to consider the meta-communication.
KINESICS refers to nonverbal communication based on hand or arm gestures. Cultural differences aside, this is a way to get a sense of the emotional state of the person you are observing. For example, if you see someone pounding on the table or finger-pointing at people, you know to stay away from that person.
VOCALICS has to do with changes in the pitch, volume, or other aspects of a person’s voice. When someone’s voice increases in pitch or volume, they are commonly feeling fearful or anxious, but it could mean they are simply excited and happy. When the voice lowers, it can indicate feeling calm, but it could also have other meanings. This is why in doing predator profiling, we need to observe the totality of the person’s behavior.
CHRONEMICS, for our purposes, this relates to rate of speech, but there are many nuanced meanings. For example, if someone is speaking really fast or haltingly, it can indicate anxiety or enthusiasm. The person’s meta-communication will provide further information.

More things to look for:

Presence of weapons (gun, knife, another lethal weapon, or any object that could be used as a deadly weapon)
Individuals clearly running away from someone
Sounds that could be gunshots
Violent Shouting
Breaking of glass
Any anomalous behavior (not the norm for that environment or situation)
Someone has directed their attention toward you in a way that is frightening. Pay attention to their eyes as well as their feet. The direction of the suspect’s feet can indicate intention. If someone keeps glancing at you and then glancing away, you’ve been targeted; what you do will determine whether you get attacked.
Hiding of the hands (which could be holding a concealed weapon)
Anyone who looks out of place in a particular environment
Clear the hands (Are both hands visible and empty?)
Individuals whose hands are hidden (could be holding a weapon)
Patting or checking any area of body (commonly an illegal weapon)
Inappropriate clothing for the weather or setting (could be hiding a large weapon)
Pacifying behavior (indicates anxiety)
Sudden change in speed of someone’s movement
Unexplained masking (sunglasses at night, hoodie in warm weather)
Does someone seem extremely anxious, hyper-alert, and looking around in an intentional way?
Is someone sweating on a cool day or wearing a heavy coat in warm weather?
Is there anything about a person or situation in the space around you that causes you to feel concern or even fear?

Always honor your intuition, even in the absence of evidence. Never take your peripheral vision off anyone you are not sure about, but don’t stare. Once, when standing in line at a Starbucks, someone walked in who got my attention. My concern and suspicion increased when I then saw the barista suddenly break out in a sweat, which indicated to me that the barista had previously had some type of frightening encounter with that guy. There are countless early warning signs like these that go completely unnoticed by most people, which is why victims of crime often say the person attacked without warning. The reality is that there are always warning signs once you know how to look for them. When you are fully aware of everyone around you and you honor your intuition, you will instinctively stay away from or be prepared to deal with potentially dangerous people and situations. That day in Starbucks, the person I was watching didn’t cause any trouble, but because I was only a foot away from him and peripherally watching him constantly, I was ready to strike and disarm him if necessary. Although I chose to stay, the next time you are in the same space with someone who you are not comfortable being around, the best choice is always to leave before anything happens.

Entering into a new relationship: People enter into terrible and often abusive relationships quite commonly. They mistakenly believe that the person’s behavior will improve once they are in a committed relationship. The reality is that undesirable behaviors do not go away when in a committed relationship. The reverse is usually true because that person is no longer on good behavior. Get to know that person’s behavioral patterns before getting seriously involved.

Learn to recognize red flags that can signal you to avoid getting into any type of relationship with someone displaying any of the following traits:

Regularly disparages others
Blames others for his or her own failures
Often gets angry with others
Frequently talks about violence
Is a loner
Spreads conspiracy theories (Not all conspiracy theories promote violence, but people who buy into them lack reason and objectivity.)
Illegally carries a concealed weapon
Writes people off on a regular basis
Views people as all good or all bad
Lacks empathy
Disinterested in the needs of others
Distrustful of others
Files formal complaints regularly
Intolerant of diversity (Someone may be perfectly safe to be around, but those who focus on race, ethnicity, religion, or nationality tend to judge others based on irrelevant and unobjective criteria.)
Substance abuse disorder or other addictions
Has had run-ins with police
Unstable work history
Contentious relationship history
Speaks in monologues and seems insensitive to the reactions of other
Poor conversationalist; more interested in monologuing rather than in conversing with a natural interplay and dialog or two-way banter.
Regularly says things that seem a little off
Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who are envious of anyone who they view as better than them, or of having more money than them. They look for opportunities to hurt those they envy. This problem is epidemic because of the new postmodernist culture and intersectionality. Academic institutions teach students that if they have less than others, they are members of an oppressed group and that those who are successful or who are affluent are oppressors. This dangerous philosophy has created increased racism and violence.

Even a skilled, experienced profiler may be unable to pick up on all signs of danger. This is because the above characteristics may not reveal themselves until you get to know the person well. It could be that the person is on good behavior, or it could be that it is not until you say something that triggers their bad behavior. It could be that by that time you have become so fond of the person that you find yourself ignoring traits that otherwise would jump out at you as red flags.

In addition to the above red flags, it’s also essential to pay attention to the person’s Nonverbal Communication. In addition to paying attention to the above red flag warning signs, pay attention to nonverbal communication. Most people pay more attention to what a person says than to that person’s nonverbal communication. The reality is that according to extensive research, over 90% of what we communicate is nonverbal. That’s how people get deceived in all types of relationships, not just romantic relationships.

Although dog owners think that their dogs understand what they’re saying, the reality is that the dog is superb at reading the extremely subtle body language of its owner, everyone else, and other dogs. Very few people have the commitment to learn that skill, but it can be learned. It’s just that people love words and preferentially choose words over nonverbal signs.

Along with staying clear of anyone with any of the above red flag warning indicators and paying attention to the person’s nonverbal communication, it is very important to ask questions of that person every time he or she says something that you don’t understand or are concerned about. Curiosity is a way to deepen healthy relationships. If the person takes offense at your curiosity, consider that to be another red flag warning of what is likely to become a very unhealthy relationship.

Unlike the psychopath, aggressive men and women are easier to spot and avoid. But there are many, very charming and charismatic psychopaths that can be much harder to identify until you get to know them. Beware of overly friendly types and avoid direct eye contact and conversation with them.

Another extremely important part of situational awareness and profiling is to pay close attention to the type of eye contact that person has with others. For example, I once had an HVAC guy come to the house to give me an estimate on replacing the furnace and air conditioning system. As soon as he entered the house and we engaged in conversation I noticed that he was looking at me with big eyes and staring intensely into my eyes. I sort of got the sense that he was looking at me the way a big cat looks at an animal that could be its next meal. I got his estimate but had already decided, based on the disturbing way he made eye contact that I would not want him working in my house. Another thing I had noticed about him was that all his bodily movement seemed intentional. Normally, people are not even aware of how they move. It looked to me like he was planning every step and every bodily movement. His gesticulations were almost menacing. I doubt he was aware of it and most people would not have given it a second thought, but these are the kinds of things to look for in practicing situational awareness.

Situational awareness and profiling can be practiced as a fun game. For example, whenever I am out for an exercise hike or walk where there are other people, I play a game of seeing how much I can notice about people coming towards me. Examples of what I notice: Are both hands visible and are they both empty? I study their body-language, how they walk, gesticulate, make eye contact.

Another aspect of situational awareness includes noticing if anything in your immediate environment seems at all out of place. For example, one morning I was out hiking where there are normally a lot of noisy birds. One particular morning I noticed the lack of birds. I didn’t know why, but it was a red flag that something had scared the birds away. The next morning the birds were back. I never found the cause of their disappearance that one morning, but the point is that situational awareness includes noticing not only what is there, but what is missing or anomalous to baseline.

Anytime you go somewhere, make a game of noticing the environment. For example, notice where the exits are in every building. In a threat situation in a restaurant, the best escape exit is often through the kitchen.
Common places for attacks are transitional spaces such as parking garages—especially while entering or exiting your car, public restrooms, and any isolated locations. When entering and exiting your car you need to never take your attention off your surroundings. Restrooms that can only be accessed through a long hallway or an approach that is away from other people require you to be on high alert.

How to park your car in a parking garage: There have been many incidents of criminals using their car to block their intended victim from exiting the parking space, effectively trapping the person, making it easy to carry out an attack, kidnap, or carjack. For this reason, the best way to park in a parking garage is to back into the parking space. That way you are more likely to be able to drive out of the space before someone can block you in. Obviously, this doesn’t apply to diagonal parking spaces.
Utilize reflections in car windows, building windows, and all reflective surfaces in order to keep an eye on who is behind you. Shadows from the sun or streetlights can also be used to inform you of who is around.

The sucker puncher: This is the attacker that doesn’t make any threatening remarks to you and simply walks up and punches you for no reason. It is difficult to avoid that first strike unless you maintain a high level of situational awareness, profiling people as they approach you. Profiling allows you to detect that something is off about the person approaching you. Whenever someone approaching me looks at all suspicious and I don’t have the space to side-step, I don’t take my eyes off him and am ready to go into action if a punch comes. Situational awareness will reduce the odds of ever being sucker-punched.

Many survivors of attacks have described the attack as: “It just came out of the blue with absolutely no warning.” There is always a warning, but you have to practice a high level of situational awareness in order to see the threat. This is similar to the many people who have been bitten by a dog when they tried to pet a dog that was already growling, had its tail up, or was silently looking intensely at them, often in a puffed-up posture. It’s important to profile dogs as well as people.

Move toward safety rather than away from danger. For example, if you are walking to your car in a parking garage and someone asks you for a ride or otherwise appears suspicious, you need to get away. Don’t go to your car; go in the direction where you are most likely to be near other people.

If you are approached from behind, turn and scan the person to determine if you are safe. If you are not sure, just turning around to face the person can deter a potential attacker because muggers use the element of surprise. If you have a sense that someone behind you could possibly be a threat, keep that person in your peripheral vision at all times.

If you’re not situationally aware enough to detect someone approaching you from behind, there is a good chance you won’t be able to defend yourself before being knocked unconscious, stabbed, or shot. Many victims wake up on the pavement or in the hospital after getting knocked out; others don’t survive. When out at night in an urban area you must develop eyes in the back of your head. You must assess who is approaching you from the front as well as the rear. You can see everyone approaching you from the front long before they get close, so you have lots of time to assess them. If a potential attacker approaches from the front, you have some warning, which will improve your odds of evasion. However, someone can suddenly jump out from a dark doorway and grab you from behind, or someone may see you from afar and start following behind you until you are in a dark or isolated area, gradually getting close enough to grab you from behind. Unless you are extremely alert, constantly scanning the space around you, you could easily find yourself ambushed from behind. Your best defense is to stay so aware that you are able to make sure the attack never happens. Better yet, don’t go out at night alone.

The Knockout Game: This deadly game is played out every day somewhere in the U.S. The way it works is that two or more older teens or young adults approach an unsuspecting person and one of them suddenly rushes at the victim with an uppercut to his jaw or hook to the back of his head, successfully knocking him or her unconscious. There have been many such attacks caught on camera and in every case that I’ve seen, the victim either appeared oblivious to who was around him or her, or sometimes actually saw the attackers approach and did nothing to avoid the attack. This can only be avoided through high-level situational awareness and training in self-defense.

Canine Situational Awareness

Dangerous Dog Owner: Commonality with both people and dogs: Whether with people or with dogs, you need to assertively set clear boundaries. Also, with both people and with dogs, to avoid violent confrontations, you need to be calm and assertive. If you have those qualities, both people and dogs are more likely to respect you. Obviously, there are inherently crazy people as well as inherently crazy dogs that will attack no matter how calm and assertive you are, but in both cases, they are the exception.

Staying safe from dog attacks is similar to staying safe from human attacks. In both cases, if you practice situational awareness in order to avoid being in the same space as a predator, either human or canine, you will usually be safe. That said, there are some very dangerous dogs jumping fences and charging nearby pedestrians, and that type of attack is almost impossible to avoid. However, by calmly standing your ground and avoiding direct eye-contact, the dog will often (not always) stop even though it may continue to bark and growl.

If you are ever walking or jogging down a street and see a man or woman walking a couple of massive and powerful dogs like Corso, Dogo Argentino, Presa Canario, Mastiff, XL Bully, American Bully, Pit Bull, Rottweiler, or German Shepard, notice if the dogs are under the command of the owner. Usually they are not, in which case you should cross the street and stay away. If the dogs are pulling the owner along or seem excited, they will go after you if you get close. If you encounter them on a narrow hiking trail or anywhere else where it’s too late to get away unnoticed by the dogs, just stay silent, still and calm as they pass by, and don’t look directly at the dogs, and don’t turn and walk away at that point. Don’t even take a step back, because that’s prey behavior, which can trigger an attack. By the way, that too is the same as with humans. A human predator will see you as a soft target if you turn your back or even take a step back.

The dogs themselves are not the problem. The problem is that many owners of these powerful dogs buy them because they want a powerful, aggressive dog for protection. And they encourage the dog’s aggressiveness. In fact, drug dealers and others involved in crime buy the ones that have been bred for their aggression. The dog may be no more likely to attack you than would a chihuahua, but the difference is that when those breeds are trained to kill, they are so powerful that there are many police reports of them biting right through the victim’s neck and dismembering the limbs. Unfortunately, there are psychopaths who own those breeds and train them to kill. There are reports of these dogs being used as a murder weapon. Some of these giant powerful dogs have been known to jump a six-foot fence, chase down and kill people walking or running through the neighborhood.

By far the most common attacks come from the dogs owned by ethical, law-abiding citizens whose dogs attack only because the dogs don’t respect an insecure, anxious, unassertive owner. The dogs view the owners as weak and think they need to protect them. Those dogs will attack anyone who gets close.

Whenever you see any dog of any breed that doesn’t obey it’s owner’s commands, stay away because an unassertive dog owner with a powerful strong-willed dog is a deadly combination. Powerful breeds like those I mentioned above require a dog owner who is a confident, assertive, skilled leader; otherwise, the dog will not respect the owner, and will be dangerous to the owner, all members of the family, and everyone else. These unassertive dog owners commonly punish their dogs for their undesirable behavior, rather than train them to engage in desirable behavior; this exacerbates the dogs’ aggression and neuroticism, which makes them extremely dangerous dogs.

Self-defense against that type of dog attack: Situational awareness that allows for avoidance is your best defense because unarmed, most of us cannot put up a good enough empty hand defense against a committed attack by two of those powerful breeds that I named above. And just as pepper spray is ineffective with some human attackers, it is also ineffective with some highly aggressive dogs.

Many years ago, I was hiking early in the morning near a large dog park when I suddenly saw a really big dog, possibly an American Mastiff or a Corso, charging toward me at incredible speed. I thought of front kicking it but didn’t for fear of just agitating the dog. It hit my right iliac crest with enormous power. I was able to yield and stay on my feet. As soon as it rammed into me, I stepped toward the dog, forcing it to back away. By claiming its space, the dog showed me respect. At that point we could have gone for a walk together. I waited around for a couple of minutes in order to see who the dog belonged to. No one came along so I finally left. There have been other incidents where a dog was barking and growling at me. Each time I discovered that by calmly stepping into its space, forcing it back, the dog would continue barking and growling as I continued to back it up. And each time, after a minute or so the dog lost interest. The greatest danger is when the dog is with its anxious unassertive owner.

Do a search for “Death by Dog” and you will come up with all the reports from recent years. It’s quite gruesome just reading the reports. Many young children have been mauled to death by the family dogs, which are usually one of those powerful breeds mentioned above.

Mass shooters: If you hear gunfire, screaming, and running there is probably a mass shooter.

Before running, try to determine the shooter’s location; otherwise, you could end up running toward him. If you are indoors, you will not be able to tell by the sound of the gunfire because the sound bounces off the walls.
If bullets are flying and you hide behind a partition wall, you need to know that such a wall won’t stop bullets. If you know where the shooter is, hide behind something that will stop bullets, such as a big planter, stone or concrete pillar, the wheels or engine block of a car, or something else that can stop bullets. Car windows and doors do not stop bullets.
If you see the shooter and think he sees you, if you are physically able to, run away in a zigzag pattern until you find cover. If you are not physically able to run in a zigzag pattern you must find some way to get to concealment (not visible) even if you can’t get to cover (object that stops bullets). Or lay down and pretend to be dead; the shooter will focus on shooting people running away.

Bomb: If you hear an explosion and screaming, there may be a bomb event.
In the 2013 Boston Marathon bombing, multiple bombs were planted, making it impossible to know which direction to escape to. However, knowing that bombs are placed where there are the most people packed together, run toward sparsity—whether indoors or outdoors. My wife and I no longer attend any event where there are thousands of people packed together, since that’s the type of venue that domestic and foreign terrorists target.

Even if you become an expert in situational awareness and profiling, it’s important to also train in physical self-defense:

Even those of us who are very practiced in situational awareness at times allow ourselves to get distracted by a conversation we’re in or something else that is capturing our attention. Sometimes we may lose our awareness because of a lack of sleep, simply not feeling well, or being preoccupied with a family or work situation. At those times, none of us are immune from being ambushed.
Another reason to train in the physical self-defense techniques is because mastery of the techniques provides a path to self-empowerment and self-efficacy. This confidence-building is important if you are ever targeted by a predator. In other words, in order to rise to the occasion to preemptively disable someone who is about to attack you, you must believe you can do it successfully.
In the class I teach, practice of the techniques trains you to put your mind in and live from your center. This does two things:
- You will learn to move from your center of mass and to eventually connect your center of mass with your empty-hand weapons.
- You will learn to continually re-center your mind. In that way, this is a moving mindfulness practice in that the practice is about returning to your moment-to-moment state of mind and body. We use that skill to always be on the lookout for the wandering mind. You will go from thinking about, to intense focus on the activity of the moment.

Section Two: Self-Defense Tactics and Strategy

If someone threatens you with a gun or knife, in most cases it will be an armed robber. They just want your stuff. You don’t need self-defense for that. If you hand over what they demand, regardless of whether it is your purse or your car, you will usually be left alone. I recommend handing over your stuff; that’s what I would do if robbed at gunpoint or knifepoint. The self-defense I teach is for staying safe from life-threatening violence, such as kidnapping, rape, torture, and vicious beatings.

My philosophy of self-defense: The self-defense techniques I teach are very simple and effective. When faced with a threat where you can’t evade, escape, or defuse the situation, you must shock the predator by preemptively charging straight at him, growling loudly like a wild animal, as you take away his sight, breathing, or balance. Animals in the wild do this. You must keep attacking nonstop because your life depends on it. This will end the threat within seconds, allowing you to get away without any serious injury.

Although it is very uncomplicated, it requires committed training and ongoing practice. Ongoing practice is essential because in a real situation, you won’t have time to figure things out and you will have to instinctively attack with well-practiced strategy and tactics. When your life is at stake and your survival depends on how fast and effectively you can disable the predator, you must attack the predator with a clear, well-practiced offense.

“How long does it take to learn to be able to defend myself?” Beginning students often ask me how long it takes and I’ve always been completely honest with them. The techniques can easily be learned in the seven-week, one-hour-per-week class. But after the initial seven-week class you won’t be ready to defend yourself in a real-life vicious attack. The only students to have become skilled enough to survive that type of attack are those who have taken the class for an absolute minimum of six months; even then, it is important to continue to train either with me or with a fellow student so that you can continue to practice periodically. Long-term training and practice provide ongoing benefits in terms of personal growth, well-being, health, increased confidence, and self-defense.

There are many benefits from extensive training in the martial arts, which I practiced for decades, but women’s realistic self-defense requires a much simpler tactical skill set than the very sophisticated techniques practiced in the martial arts.

The actual techniques I teach are so simple that they are not taught in martial art schools because martial artists want flashy, sophisticated techniques. The problem is that those sophisticated techniques, which are challenging and satisfying to learn and practice will get you killed if you attempt them on a violent psychopath or a predator that has a deadly weapon.

If you are ever confronted by a violent predator, regardless of whether it is a stranger or someone you know, you absolutely must launch a preemptive attack on the predator. Your goal needs to be to disable the predator enough to allow you to get away.

The skill of being able to predict a predator’s very subtle intentions and movements is acquired partly through profiling and partly through some type of sparring experience. The sparring I teach is realistic in terms of movement and techniques, but it is performed in slow motion in part to keep everyone safe from injury, and in part because that is how you hone the precision of your strikes to his eyes and throat.

The other reason we spar in slow motion is so that I’m able to coach my students to constantly search for openings. People ask me how to know what target to choose. The answer is simple: the one that’s open. For example, a fingers strike to the eyes won’t work when the partner’s arm is blocking a clear path. but you may have a clear path for your fingers to reach his throat.

Knowing the perfect moment to preemptively attack the predator is based on very subtle body language and body movement, which you will become highly sensitive to over time. At a certain point, your decisions on when and where to attack will become so automatic that you won’t be able to explain why you attacked when and where you did. That’s when we finally start to speed up the sparring a little.

Hopefully, your situational awareness will enable you to avoid danger. But if you are ever in danger, you must commit to attacking the predator with everything you’ve got, and don’t let up until you can safely get away. If you hesitate or fight half-heartedly, it won’t end well for you.

Empty-hand weapons are like carpentry tools. If you learn to use them correctly, and practice using them on a regular basis, they will serve you well. If you learn the techniques but don’t train with them regularly, you won’t survive an attack by someone in a murderous rage who wants to beat you up and rape you.

Empty-Hand Weapon Techniques: Empty hand weapons are parts of your body that are used as weapons. Examples: fingernails, teeth, hands, elbows, knees, feet. Below are a few examples of the use of empty hand weapons. To be effective, you must develop the skill of delivering combinations of the below strikes and to do so with good timing.

Rear heel kicks to groin (when grabbed from behind).
Finger strikes to eyes.
Open-hand slaps to the face with palm heels striking his chin or nose and fingers going into the eyes.
Upward palm-heel strikes to chin from below.
Sideways palm-heel strikes to jaw (thrown like a hook).
Web-hand strikes to throat (trachea) while shoving him back on his heels.
Jam your thumb into the sternal notch and shove predator backward.
Throat strikes with PIPs (proximal interphalangeal joints) straight into his cricoid cartilage.
Elbows to the jaw, throat, eyes, face, side of neck, back of neck, side and back of the head depending on moment-to-moment accessibility.
Chops (aka knife-hand or blade-hand) to throat or neck.
Hammer-fists to groin.
Cupped palm claps to the ears.
Knee to the groin.
Kicks to the groin, knee, shin, and ankle.

Combinations: All of the above techniques should be deployed in combination with each other. This should include attacking high and low targets unpredictably. However, formulaic preplanned combinations are only for training purposes. They don’t work when you are fighting for your life in a real attack by a real predator. In a real attack, you won’t have any time to plan a combination.

One example of a possible combination: You may choose to lead off with a punch to the groin because the predator won’t see it. Follow it up with a palm-heel strike to the nose with fingers in the eyes. The third strike could be a kick to the knee, shin, or ankle. That could be followed by a web-hand strike to the throat. By alternating high and low strikes, you can be more effective and less predictable.

“What if I preemptively attack someone who turns out to not be a threat?” This question has come up in every class I have taught. It’s a good question since I teach preemptive strikes. You would not preemptively attack without objective evidence of a viable threat. Your profiling skills will tell you what you need to know. Sometimes it is obvious. For example, if you ask a person of interest to stay back and they go toward you then at that point you should preemptively attack as soon as they get in range and you have open targets to attack.

Here is an example of how things could play out in a real attack: As soon as someone is about to attack you, you attack his eyes with your fingernails. Do NOT wait for him to hit or grab you. His hands will instinctively go to his eyes for protection. At that moment you grab his unguarded throat with everything you’ve got. This will cause him to instinctively lean back. Instantly, you then front kick him in the groin and side kick his knee. That will likely cause him to fall backward. If you aren’t able to follow up the groin kick with a kick to his knee, the groin kick will cause him to instinctively bend forward, giving you an opportunity to elbow him in the back of the head or gouge your fingernails into his eyes. By this time, even if he hasn’t run away, he will no longer be a threat. All of this will play out in seconds.

That’s why ongoing practice is essential; you must be able to act on instinct. Once you become skilled, if you train just an hour a month as a routine part of your life, you will have and maintain good instincts. There was a period of years when I didn’t train. When I returned, although I remembered all my tactical skills, my timing was terribly off. The timing of your moves can mean the difference between walking away unscathed and getting killed. Without lifelong training, even just an hour a month, your timing won’t be accurate enough to get your empty-hand strikes through the attacker’s defenses and onto your intended targets.

Defending against a gun or knife: Most predators are armed with a stolen gun and a knife. I teach my students how to read the signs that someone is about to draw a concealed weapon. With proper training and consistent practice, you can learn to preemptively attack the person who is about to draw a concealed weapon. But you would only want to attempt that move if his intention is to kill you; if you suspect robbery is the motive, it would not be worth the risk.

I teach gun and knife disarms to my most advanced students, but I make it clear to them that even I would only attempt a gun or knife disarm if I had no alternative. For example, in the extremely unlikely event that I am ambushed by an armed robber or carjacker, unless I thought I had a good chance of disarming him, I would let him take my wallet and my vehicle. The carjacker is no different from any other armed robber in that they use a gun or knife to convince us to give them what they are demanding. Their intention is not to kill us, and in the vast majority of cases when the victim hands over their vehicle or other valuables, they are not harmed.

Your odds of survival are best if you comply with the robber’s demands. Although the robber’s goal is to just steal your stuff, if you give them a hard time, they may get angry and frustrated enough to decide to kill you.

Do NOT carry a knife for defense. If you are ever threatened by a violent criminal, he will be skilled with his knife. Without serious knife-fighting training, you wouldn’t survive a knife fight.

When the person with a gun or knife is a sexual predator rather than a robber, you must get away no matter what. This could mean you need to disable him in order to disarm him. You may get shot or cut, but you must do everything possible to get away. If you cannot get away then you will be in a fight for your life.

Although gun and knife disarms are fun to practice, it is more effective to focus on preemptively attacking the predator in his eyes, throat, groin, or knees (depending on angles) before you attempt to disarm him. This requires extensive practice. We practice with a rubber blade and plastic gun.

In my younger aikijujutsu days I trained in wooden knife disarms in safe, controlled conditions. In real life, an attacker with a knife can keep stabbing and slashing really fast, making a disarm extremely dangerous. That’s why it is essential that you disable him before you attempt to disarm him. A purely defensive approach will get you killed.

You will get cut no matter how effective you become in defending against a knife attack, but you will hopefully avoid getting stabbed or slashed to death. With enough regular training you will instinctively use an article of clothing or some other weapon of opportunity to deflect the knife. Simultaneous to that action you must go after his or her eyes, throat, or balance. As I’ve said before, you won’t survive if you only defend and fail to disable the attacker.

Speed: If the predator sees your hand coming toward him, he will block or move. You must develop lightning speed. This means eliminating all telegraphing of your intentions, releasing excess muscle tension, and having your nearest empty-hand weapons dart into the nearest accessible targets.

Although we spar slowly for safety reasons, with my advanced students we pressure-test to determine the level of muscle tension, and we hit pads with full power and speed without excess muscle tension.

Your reactionary gap (the time and space needed to be able to attack the predator) will shorten just by placing your hands up in some type of insipid or innocuous modified guard position so that you can instantly deflect incoming strikes and deploy your empty-hand weapons to the target-rich head and neck.

The value of participation in the weekly class: The more skilled and practiced you are, the more spontaneous your strikes and kicks will be. Committed weekly practice with your classmates will allow you to instinctively choose the most effective empty-hand weapon for each vulnerable target as openings occur. Everyone has their own unique strengths and weaknesses, so, each of your classmates will present you with a different challenge. Everyone moves differently, so you will benefit greatly from training in the class with a variety of classmates.

You must keep attacking with explosive speed until you can get away. Your speed and power are accelerated by stepping toward the predator. The rapidity of your varied strikes and kicks will have an impact. And stepping into him will catch him completely off guard.

If you catch the predator off guard by preemptively attacking, you should be able to end his attack within seconds and get away. Otherwise, you could easily be overpowered.

Movement to improve angles of attack: This is developed through partner practice. Most students instinctively step back when their training partner steps into them; I train them to step to the side and forward while attacking nonstop.

The Importance of Ongoing Partner Practice: As with learning a foreign language, practice must be ongoing, or the skill is lost. For many of us this lifelong ongoing practice is satisfying because of the benefits that result from the practice, such as self-empowerment, self-efficacy, and the deep satisfaction that comes from simply staying on a path to mastery.

Gentle sparring as a method of profiling: There’s an introduction to very light, slow, safe sparring in class and for more advanced students sparring with me outside of class. The most important aspect of this training is that you will learn how the other person moves and will learn how to predict the partner’s next move. This activity becomes very satisfying and playful when you start noticing yourself consistently moving in the best directions totally on instinct. The benefits of this gentle sparring exercise, which over time becomes a fun game, are transferrable to other aspects of life. For example, your partner’s right hand goes to tap the left side of your head and you instinctively move to your right. A predator or crazy person tries to hit you and you instinctively move into an evasive position.

The Importance of Practicing How to Move

One of the most important two-person drills practiced in class involves darting straight at the person who is role-playing the predator. Predators expect their intended victims to back up and cower in fear; they are thrown off their game when their intended victim becomes the aggressor. For most women this is counterintuitive, and it takes time to learn to step into the predator when you attack.
Training through experimentation and play: We engage in mock combat that is very realistic with one exception. We attack in slow motion to avoid injuries. Over time, my advanced students develop speed. Students are encouraged to experiment and play with whatever techniques spontaneously come to them. The only rule is they must go slow for safety reasons.
One reason you need to develop power and speed is because techniques that simply cause pain may have no effect on an attacker who has adrenalin or street drugs flooding his system, making him impervious to pain. You must actually disable the attacker in order to get away.
Still another reason it is so important to be able to move with speed and agility is because it will give you a much greater opportunity to evade or escape the predator.
Speed increases power.

Should You Carry a Weapon?

A firearm is unquestionably the most effective self-defense weapon to have in your hand. However, owning a gun is an enormous responsibility. Drawing and shooting is a skill that is developed only with extensive formal training. Effective firearms training requires a serious training commitment.

Insufficiently trained gun owners are dangerous; this is because unless they get some training in gun retention and retention shooting, a predator is likely to grab their gun, shoot them, and steal it. Most gun crimes are committed with stolen guns.

Here in California, people who are licensed to carry a concealed firearm have gone through not only an extensive background check, but also a very thorough psych eval. Those of us who are licensed to conceal carry are the sheepdogs who make the world a safer place.

However, a gun in no way guarantees your safety. If you are ever attacked, it will usually be in the form of an ambush, which means that you won’t easily get a chance to draw your weapon.

The ambush: There are countless reports of people in law enforcement, private security, and private citizens being ambushed and not being able to draw their firearm or other weapon in time.

Those who work in law enforcement must carry various weapons ranging from pepper spray to tasers to impact weapons to firearms because they are expected to go toward criminals and apprehend them, whereas the rest of us are expected to try to avoid criminals when we sense their presence. The reason cops carry this variety of weapons is because they are expected to determine scale of force to use in each situation.

As an armed private citizen, I consider my gun to be an absolute last resort. I carry my little 5000 lumen flashlight in my left hand when in questionable transitional areas. If ambushed I would blind the predator with the light and strike his eyes, throat, groin, and knees while he is blinded by the light.

A tactical flashlight is legal for everyone to carry everywhere. You can use it to blind the attacker and you can also use it as a weapon of opportunity. It makes a great improvised weapon.

If I am ever attacked, it will most likely be an armed robber, in which case I would comply in handing over what is demanded. I would only draw my gun if the attacker’s goal were to kill me and even then, only if he clearly has the means.

In addition to being robbed, women are attacked because the predator wants more than their stuff.

If you get formal firearms training and get licensed to legally carry a concealed handgun, it could save your life and the lives of those with you. You may even be able to stop an active shooter. But it is an enormous responsibility and I’ve had discussions with my concealed carry friends and we all agree that we would be very hesitant to get involved. We all agreed that we would not attempt to shoot a violent criminal unless we could be certain that there is absolutely no possibility of shooting an innocent bystander. Also, it would have to be very clear that not shooting the criminal would likely result in our death or the murder of someone else; that’s the only time any of us would ever draw our weapon.

Gun-Free Zones: These are the most dangerous places we all go. Gun-free zones have been referred to as human hunting grounds for psychopathic killers. Mass shooters choose gun-free zones to commit their mass murders. Law-abiding citizens honor the rule whereas violent criminals carry weapons in gun free zones all the time. They know that those of us who are licensed to carry will be unarmed in a gun-free zone. Obviously, they know no one will be able to shoot back. The Crime Prevention Research Center has proven that in areas where most people carry a gun, there is less crime. Violent criminals know that in gun-friendly parts of the country, if they attempt to commit a crime, they may well get shot. The research center found that the areas with the most guns have the lowest crime rates.

Weapons of Opportunity
When you spot a suspicious-looking person and you are completely unarmed, immediately look around for a weapon of opportunity. This is any object you can quickly grab that can be used as a makeshift or improvised weapon to strike an attacker or that can be used to protect you from the attacker’s weapon. It could be a flashlight, small chair, drinking glass or beer mug, bottle, rock, phone, steel pen, silverware, frying pan, or almost any hard, solid object. Even your hat or other soft object can be used to momentarily distract the person while you strike or kick. We’re commonly surrounded by weapons of opportunity. For example, next time you are in the supermarket, you should be able to spot hundreds of weapons of opportunity.

While sitting in the waiting room of the endoscopy suite, a homeless man who was clearly on drugs wandered in. The receptionist directed him to the exit, but I saw him start to head through the doors into the hallway leading to the procedure rooms where my wife was undergoing a colonoscopy. There was no security in sight and so I immediately spotted a row of small oxygen canisters. I was close to grabbing one to use as a weapon of opportunity on him when someone physically guided him to the exit. I breathed a sigh of relief, but that oxygen tank would have allowed me to stop him if necessary.

I’ve run into several women who carry various illegal weapons including handguns in their purse, which they don’t even know how to use. And they don’t realize how incredibly fast a predator can ambush them. I commonly see women in parking garage elevators holding their keys between their fingers. They have no idea how useless those keys would be if attacked by a violent predator. One woman showed me the asp (telescoping baton) that she carries in her purse. I snatched it from her hand, demonstrated its use in the air, and handed it back to her to demonstrate that if she pulls it out with a violent predator, he’ll grab it and use it on her. I then showed her the rapid-fire palm heel strikes that I teach in the Women’s Self-Defense class. Unlike a weapon that they must draw and know how to use, empty hand weapons are always instantly accessible, and with regular training can become incredibly fast and powerful.

Most people who carry weapons don’t train sufficiently in empty hand self-defense. Weapons of opportunity would be totally ineffective in the hands of a frail person or someone who is not very stable on their feet.

The most commonly carried weapon is pepper spray, but it is not without problems. For example, in a confined space, the defender ends up breathing it in as well. Outdoors, the wind can easily blow the spray back toward the intended victim. The stream and especially the gel don’t have those problems, but they require better aim than the spray, which only has to be sprayed into the breathing space of the predator. And they can take longer than the spray to have an effect. A violent predator could kill you before the pepper stream or gel takes effect.

However, for someone too frail to train in empty-hand self-defense or in firearms training, pepper spray is a good deterrent. But it must be instantly accessible and not buried in the bottom of a purse.

Use of Deception

The best form of deception is to preemptively attack the predator as soon as it is apparent that he intends to hurt you; it will be your best chance to disable him enough for you to get away.

If you are ever in a situation where you are not able to evade or preemptively attack the attacker because he has already ambushed and overpowered you, deception may buy you time. For example, you may get an attacker to momentarily let his guard down by giving him the false impression that you are not going to put up a fight. Then, as soon as you see an opening to attack vital targets, you attack and don’t let up until you can get away.

Another use of deception is to ask the predator a question that confuses him and forces him into his head the instant before you begin attacking him.

Putting up a fence is still another form of deception. This is where you have your hands up at roughly chest height or slightly higher with palms facing forward as you try to verbally defuse the situation. This places your hands very close to the predator’s eyes, nose, jaw, and throat, which is advantageous if you need to attack him.

If you and the predator are face-to-face, diverting your gaze slightly to the side of his head can cause him to look over his shoulder to see what you are looking at. That can provide a brief chance to launch your attack.

If you are ever in a situation where you can see that a potential predator is sizing you up, then in that situation, acting a little crazy is another way of deceiving him into believing that you would be a hard target.

If the very worst of all possible things happens and you are kidnapped and taken to a secondary location, which is usually a death sentence, your best bet may be to talk to him as a caring friend. If you can actually connect with him so that he sees you as a real person, he may let his guard down, allowing you to somehow find a way to escape.

Whenever I find myself around someone who is bullying or making threatening gestures to people, I always center and calm myself, because the best way to defuse that type of situation is to be quiet and calm. Typically, people become confrontational with such troublemakers, which leads to violence.

Anything that confuses a potential attacker and throws him off his game plan can and has deterred potential attacks. Obviously, if you are confronted by anyone demanding your money, jewelry, or any other object you are carrying or wearing, quickly hand it over; but in doing so, never take your eyes off the assailant. Although most robbers will leave the scene as soon as you hand over what they demand you give up, you can never be sure and occasionally robbery victims have been attacked even after handing over their wallet or purse. The good news is that if you hand it over without making a fuss, you will most likely be left alone.

When you are about to be attacked, the primary goal should always be to escape. But, if that’s not possible, you must use violent techniques that physically incapacitate the attacker. To do that with speed, accuracy, and power, you must be able to adopt the mind-state of a warrior rather than the mind-state of a victim.

Always assume the attacker has a concealed gun or knife. Because you must always assume an attacker has a concealed gun or knife, you must disable him to prevent the attacker from drawing the weapon. If you are attacked by a man, he will assume he will easily be able to have his way with you. If you only inflict pain on the attacker and fail to disable him, he will then draw the concealed gun or knife that he didn’t think he’d need before you struck or kicked him. Therefore, simply inflicting pain will not keep you safe. Your only hope for a safe escape is to disable him so he can’t chase after you and can’t pull out his knife or gun. You can never half-heartedly attack; you must fight for your life until you are able to escape. You must attack his sight, breathing, and balance.

Early in my martial arts career I trained in aikijujutsu. I learned throws, takedowns, joint locks, restraints, pressure points, and other pain-control techniques. The problem today is that street drugs are epidemic and the predator who targets you will likely not feel any pain from those techniques. That’s why I teach attacking the eyes, throat, and balance.

A common question that always comes up in a new class: “By preemptively hitting the predator, won’t that put him in a rage that will make him go after me even more?” My answer is that if all you do is cause him pain, then yes, that could happen. This is another reason why you must physically disable him. If you get your fingers or fingernails in his eyes and use pain control techniques (knee to groin or kick to shin) to set him up for a disabling blow such as an elbow to the head or kick to the side of his knee that breaks his knee, then you will end his attack.

In the stress and chaos of a real attack where the attacker intends to do serious harm to you, you must keep attacking every vulnerable target that you can access and not stop until your attacker is incapacitated enough to allow you to get away. Once someone has attacked you or is about to attack you, you must instinctively identify vulnerable targets on his body and keep attacking those targets as they present themselves, instinctively choosing your most available empty-hand weapons (hands, elbows, knees, feet) as openings appear from moment-to-moment. As his various vulnerable targets open up, you will deploy your fingers, palm-heels, blade-hands, hammer-fists, elbows, knees, and feet. You will know when you can stop attacking because there will be a chance to safely get away.

Never telegraph your strikes. This means that your weapon needs to strike the targets (eyes, nose, side of head, ears, chin, throat, neck) without first retracting. The danger of retracting your empty-hand weapons or other weapon is that it creates an opening for the predator to close the distance, neutralize your empty-hand or other weapon, and use the opening to attack your own vital targets

Many people are confused about the meaning of self-defense. If a guy walking toward you touches you in any inappropriate way and then walks away, going after him is NOT self-defense. You have no legal right to retribution. But if you attack him as he reaches out to touch you, that is self-defense. If someone gets too close to you and you ask them to give you space, and that individual refuses to honor your request, in that situation, if you can’t get away, you need to preemptively attack. You have a legal right to self-protection.

Directions of Attack: Ego-based fights—aka monkey-dance fights—almost always begin and are fought face-to-face. That is not self-defense. Anytime someone chooses to fight someone when he or she could have safely walked away, the claim of self-defense is not valid. Self-defense is not like that. In self-defense, your attacker will want to ambush you, sometimes from the front, but more often from the rear. If it is simply a robber who wants money, he or she will usually approach from the front and you will usually (not always) be unharmed by simply complying with the robber’s demands.

But if an attacker’s goal is to kill you, you won’t see it coming unless you are practicing exquisite situational awareness. If he wants to kidnap and/or rape you, you are likely to be ambushed from behind. If you are able to see the attack coming and are ready for it, you have a good chance of surviving and getting away. If you can’t get away, you will be in a fight for your life, but at least your chances for survival are much better if you are able to see the attack coming, increasing your reactionary gap, and you know how to preemptively attack the attacker just before he hits or grabs you.

Section Three: Setting and Maintaining Your Boundaries

In most situations, verbal boundary setting is sufficient to dissuade a predator or a bully, provided your body language backs up your words. But if your biometrics and body-language are incongruent with your words, you will not be taken seriously. This is true regardless of the nature of the relationship (stranger, co-worker, spouse, domestic partner, friend, or other family member).

However, if you set clear boundaries in a calm, self-assured way, being very assertive (but not aggressive), almost all bullies or potential predators will respect you and may even show deference to you. If you haven’t had the experience, you probably find it hard to believe, but I have seen it and experienced it countless times.

You can try it with dogs to see how easily it works. A number of times, when confronted with a barking and growling dog, I very calmly, slowly, and assertively walked into the dog, claiming its space. Every time, the dog backed up. I’ve also done it with people, but people don’t always back up because some people take it as an ego challenge, so, you have to be very careful using this tactic with people. However, most of the time the person behaved just like a dog and took a step back. Their step back is a way of unconsciously showing deference and respect to the person stepping toward them. It’s almost as if they have no choice; most of the time the step back is instinctive and automatic, just as it is with dogs.

You can set very firm boundaries without demeaning anyone. Yell with the loudest and most powerful voice you can muster. I don’t like the idea of screaming for help because it can give you and the predator a message that you are weak. Whereas, yelling at a predator to “Get out of here!” or “Get away from me!” in your most powerful voice is empowering for you and disempowering for the predator. However, that won’t work unless you can back it up. A frail, unarmed person would be better off yelling for help.

The specifics of boundary-setting depend on the situation. For example, assertively yelling at a bully or sexual predator can be effective in setting a protective boundary. But never do that with a resource predator. You should appease a robber but assertively demand a clear boundary with a bully or sexual predator.

If kidnapping you or tying you up is the motive, you must escape even when threatened with a gun or knife. Although there is a risk that you could get shot, cut, or badly bruised during your struggle to escape, it is still safer than allowing a predator to transport you to a secondary location or even to lock you up in the room that you are both in. You also should never even go into an isolated part of a building you’re in with someone you don’t completely trust. This is why it is essential to train in self-defense. The confidence you will get from knowing that you can defend yourself can help you to assertively set clear boundaries, making it far less likely of getting targeted.

For most women, boundary-setting is most often an issue in relationships with people with whom they interact on a regular basis. What prevents most women (as well as men) from setting clear, assertive boundaries in all types of relationships is a lack of self-confidence and self-empowerment.

When someone refuses to honor your assertively expressed boundary-setting, you must immediately realize that you are now facing a serious threat. However, unless the predator has you isolated from other people, it would be unusual for him to not honor your clearly and assertively stated boundary. That said, realizing that he has you isolated where no one is around who could come to your rescue, he may decide to go after you even though you set clear boundaries with your voice and body language. If that were to occur, then you must preemptively attack the instant the predator breaches your reactionary gap.

Reminder about reactionary gap (the time and distance you need in order to defend yourself): Research has shown that the average young or middle-aged person can cover 21 feet in 1.5 seconds. So, if someone decides to suddenly rush you from 21 feet away, you better be ready to preemptively attack him or her within 1.5 seconds. If you fail to recognize the pre-attack indicators and the predator is able to ambush you, you will need a much greater skill level and will need to use maximum scale of force in order to stop the attack before getting gravely injured or killed.

Normally, the boundary we set around ourselves is much closer than 21 feet. Knowledge of your reactionary gap should serve to motivate you to use situational awareness and profiling skills to maintain optimal boundaries.

Although it is always best to completely avoid any suspicious individuals, there are some work, family, or other situations where being in the same room with that person is unavoidable. When keeping your distance simply isn’t possible and you find yourself in conversation with that person, how you communicate could make all the difference in your safety.

For example, if there’s just no way to avoid such a person, it is important to converse in a respectful, yet very assertive manner. You should assertively set very clear boundaries but do so without demeaning that individual.

If you run into someone regularly who leaves you feeling uncomfortable, you need to find a way to communicate with that person that assures your safety.

When setting boundaries while in conversation with such a person, point out anything specific that makes you uncomfortable. For example, if the person is expressing something nonverbally that clearly doesn’t line up with their words, it could reveal something about that person you should know. In a respectful way, point out the discrepancy and ask about it. But do so out of curiosity rather than criticism.

It’s critical that your body language backs up your words in order for there to be no doubting about the boundaries you set. The more you train in realistic self-defense, the more confident you will be and that confidence will usually deter most people with violent intent from targeting you.

People often confuse assertiveness with aggressiveness. Assertiveness is effective in preventing violence, whereas aggressiveness is incendiary. Aggressiveness is just as dangerous as appeasement. Assertiveness is a state of mind and can be developed.

When you are skilled in maintaining a personal boundary, some people will be offended. However, if someone is offended by your cold behavior towards them, that’s their problem; it is not your problem. You are never responsible for anyone else’s feelings.

The more you set clear boundaries, the easier it becomes to maintain them. If you are uncomfortable with anything about someone, act on it. Maintain your boundaries with your voice and your body language.

You must take evasive action even when you aren’t sure if someone poses a real threat. This can be quite challenging for some people. Many rape victims have reported failing to take evasive action based on their intuitive sense that someone could be a potential threat. Had they acted on their intuitive sense of possible danger they most likely could have prevented the attack. When asked why they allowed the guy to touch them, why they got in the elevator, entered the room, or got into the vehicle, despite sensing possible danger, a common answer was that they thought they were overreacting and didn’t want the guy to be insulted. If you feel any slight discomfort with someone, whether it is a family member, neighbor, boss, co-worker, or a stranger, honor your fear and avoid anyone that triggers your fear. Sometimes that person may feel insulted, but you will be safe.

Sometimes maintaining a clear boundary requires assertively yelling at the person. For example, screaming at the predator at the top of your lungs will empower you and startle him. If possible, you want to be screaming in a rage rather than screaming for help. Learn to transmute your fear into rage. Your fear will embolden a sexual predator, whereas your rage will scare him. Sexual predators target women who appear to make good victims; they are not prepared for a woman who assertively sets a very clear boundary before he even touches her.

The following behaviors should be seen as warnings to keep your distance and don’t get involved on any level with such people:

Impulsive behavior that shows little regard for others
Rage: We all get angry and hopefully express our anger in healthy ways; but stay away from people in whom the anger seems out of control.
Narcissism: self-centered, arrogant, grandiose, sense of entitlement, and lack of empathy
Holds grudges
Objectifies others
Blames individuals and groups for his or her own shortcomings. They blame others for all their own failures.
Behaves abusively toward others and commonly intimidates people
Substance-abuse

If you ever feel someone’s hand on you, you cannot afford to take the time to turn and figure out who it is. You must assume you are being attacked and you must quickly move away with your hands in a ready position. You should maintain a boundary around yourself and be discriminating on what individuals you allow to breach that boundary.

If you are confronted by someone who is intent on harming you and you cannot get away, don’t engage in conversation unless the person forces the conversation. Avoid making prolonged eye-contact with the person. If the person approaches you and tells you to look at them, then in that case you should look at them but how you look can make the difference in what happens next. The best thing is to be respectful and friendly. Don’t cower in fear because that will make you a target, as would glaring at them, which would be seen as a challenge, which would also make you a target.

It is always best to avoid conversation with anyone acting aggressively toward you (male or female), but if you cannot get away and the person asks you a question, the best answer is the simplest, shortest, and most neutral. If you can’t get away and he or she directs rage at you, try to de-escalate the situation with your calming words, keeping it very simple; do so while standing in a relaxed, alert stance from which you would be able to attack, if necessary, with your open hands up for protection, palms forward. Ideally, witnesses will hear you trying to talk down the potential attacker; this is important, in order to avoid being charged as the aggressor after you deliver the first strike. Never make fists, as they would be seen as aggressive on your part, both by the potential attacker as well as by any witnesses.

Personally, I avoid talking to anyone about their conspiracy theories, because like religion and politics, the conversation is almost never satisfying or productive. And religious conspiracy theories have been behind most of the violence throughout history. When I see people wearing religious clothing or symbols, I maintain a clear boundary for self-protection. That person would almost never be of any physical danger to me; my personal boundary that I maintain with such people has to do more with my quality of life.

By the way, in recent years, there have been countless reports of women confronting people with threats of violence and women attacking both men and women.

Examples of Instances where People Commonly Fail to Maintain Clear Boundaries:

A stranger accuses you of something. A common error is to then verbally defend yourself, explaining why the accusation doesn’t line up with the evidence. This commonly leads to verbal escalation by one or both parties. Never engage in conversation with such people. Just get away.
A stranger is yelling or otherwise seems very agitated and you go over to try to calm the person down. Helpful bystanders have been attacked by such people when they try to calm them down. Stay away and if you think the person may be a danger to self or others, call 911 as you observe from a safe distance.
Someone runs a stop sign or traffic light, screeches as they just barely miss crashing into you. Another common mistake is to yell at the driver who almost hit your car or to lean on your horn. Even though the other driver was clearly at fault, if you act aggressively toward him or her, nothing good will ever come from your aggressive response to someone else’s aggression.
You have your directional on, indicating that you are moving into a particular parking space. As you are driving into the space, someone darts into the space before you. You give them a piece of your mind. As tempting as it is to do that, the type of person who does that is likely to respond to your aggression with violence.
You are in the supermarket and a very careless stranger slams their shopping cart into yours. When you don’t hear any apology, you confront the person. Although that person is not likely to do anything in the store, she or he may confront you in the parking lot. There are a lot of crazy and violent people out there who appear to be perfectly safe to be around until they are challenged.
When approaching a red light as you are driving, always leave enough space in front of you so that you can pull away if a potential car-jacker were to approach your car. Don’t make the common mistake of assuming it’s just a panhandler. Never let anyone approach your vehicle. But don’t leave so much space in front that another car can move into that space because then you are trapped.
Gas stations, especially those with convenient stores, are high crime areas.
Anyone wearing ear buds is likely to be seen as a soft target. Walking around in public, whether in a crowded area or out on a hiking trail, don’t make yourself a soft target. Use your eyes and ears to take in your surroundings—not occasionally—but always.
Walking down the street texting.
Not paying attention to the people in the space around you.
Failing to recognize possible red flags related to your environment or people around you.
Failing to constantly scan your environment.
A number of people have been shoved or attacked from behind by engaging in those mindless behaviors just listed. People have been shoved off the landing and onto the tracks while waiting for a commuter train or shoved down a flight of stairs because they were oblivious to suspicious characters near them.
Failure to read someone’s aggressive or agitated body language.
Failure to read someone’s verbal or nonverbal communication.
Failure to read any type of subtle behavior that should trigger safety concerns for you.
Failure to recognize your intuitive feeling of fear when you can’t identify any logical explanation for that fear.
Failure to recognize something that just seems “off” about someone in your immediate environment.
Revealing private information to a stranger: Never reveal where you live—not even the part of town you live in—to anyone you don’t know. Some predators look for opportunities to strike up a conversation with someone who they’ve targeted.
Being too friendly: Some predators, like Ted Bundy, are very good looking and very charming. Never assume a stranger is safe just because he has those qualities. The safest approach is to just make very brief eye-contact, just enough so that he knows you are aware of him but not enough for him to possibly think you are being friendly.
Being fooled by women. A common tactic of sex traffickers and armed robbers is to have a woman approach potential victims. The victims felt safe following the woman to her vehicle or giving her their contact information, something they would not do with a man. Don’t trust any strangers regardless of gender or age. In recent years, many men have been shocked when they are attacked by a woman; this almost never happened years ago; it is now commonplace, usually in a public place, including a number of incidents on airline flights.

Whenever a stranger enters your personal space, breaching your boundary:

Move in order to maintain your personal boundary.
If that’s not possible, such as in an elevator or crowded public transit, scan the person of interest up and down and make sure the person sees you doing it; this sends a message that you are aware and prepared.
Stay away from anyone who seems particularly charming. It can be very challenging to maintain a clear boundary with such people.
Especially when you are at an ATM, you must not let anyone enter your space. This is a time when you want to be very territorial. There’s a nickname for ATM machines: Accessory to a Mugging. Use an ATM that is inside a bank or in some other protected space.
Anytime you feel a hand on you, always move away from that person while turning to identify him or her. In an urban area where most of the people around you are strangers, you should always assume that it is the hand of a predator.

As you scan the people around you, you will often make eye-contact. If that person is a predator, the nature of your eye-contact can determine whether or not you remain safe.

Never stare or hold your gaze too long.
When you break the eye-contact, do so sideways; breaking your gaze downward sends a message that you feel inferior or submissive; breaking your gaze upward sends a message that you are snubbing them.
Always appear neutral—anything else, such as a wink or smile can lead to trouble.

Flirting is normal and may involve holding your gaze longer than what is considered normal while licking your lips. It’s usually unconscious, so it can be hard to avoid. The problem is that it could attract a dangerous predator

Stalkers: The way you communicate with those you meet can encourage or discourage a potential stalker. Women who radiate clear, assertive boundary-setting in all their communication with strangers are less likely to be targeted by a stalker. Be careful to never communicate mixed messages. Of course, famous people get stalked no matter what they do. If you suspect you are being stalked, alter your daily routine. Never post anything related to your schedule online. Obviously, if you know the identity of the stalker, report him or her to the police.

Section Four: You Are Responsible for Your Own Safety

Although I teach simple and very effective self-defense strategy and tactics, I always stress that fighting for your life is never without grave risks. Most predators today carry a gun and a knife. And they are often on drugs that numb them to pain. Some of those drugs give them enhanced power and speed. That’s why my goal for my students is for them to develop the skills to avoid danger, so that they never have to fight for their lives. When you practice situational awareness, profiling, and assertive boundary-setting, you greatly reduce the odds of ever being targeted, and increase the odds of surviving an attack if you are targeted.

Going to secluded places: Whether a corner of a parking garage or a secluded hiking trail, a good heuristic is to never venture alone into an area where someone could attack you and have no witnesses. I often see women hiking or running alone on remote hiking trails. Some are very aware and they will probably not get targeted. But others are wearing ear buds and seem oblivious to other hikers and even to the sights and sounds of nature; those women are more likely to become victims.

Yelling for Help: A good way to bring attention to the situation is to yell with your most powerful voice to the predator to “Back off!” or “Get out of here!”

Predators expect their female targets to cower in fear or to freeze. They rely on that. Regardless of whether the predator’s intention is to rape, kidnap, torture, beat you up, or kill you, predators expect compliance, because that’s how most of their previous victims reacted. Once you are skilled at disrupting his vision, breathing, or balance, he will immediately be the one trying to get away.

Unlike sexual predators, resource predators will threaten you with a gun or knife but usually won’t harm you if you comply in handing over your purse, jewelry, car or whatever property they demand. Another type of threat is that of a romantic partner who goes into a murderous rage and becomes very violent; there are ways of avoiding that situation: One is to practice situational awareness in the form of noticing changes in his behavior in time to protect yourself. It is also essential to learn and practice the skills to physically defend yourself against someone who is bigger and stronger.

The more you develop your skills, the less likely you are to ever be victimized by a predator, bully, or by anyone else who would otherwise be likely to attack you.

Anytime you find yourself in the presence of a threat and you can’t get away, you must preemptively attack. Trying to defend yourself after the person has already begun attacking you puts you in a fight for your life.

A predator cannot attack you when your fingers are attacking his eyes and throat. The shock of being attacked by his intended victim will cause him to be the one trying to get away.

I teach targeting the predator’s eyesight, breathing, and balance. Regardless of how powerfully-built the predator is, there are no muscles that can protect his eyes and throat. His balance can be disrupted by clapping his ears, knee to the groin, kick to a knee, kick to a shin, stomping on an ankle.

Many women as well as many men don’t want to train in self-defense because they are “opposed to violence.” They are the ones most likely to be victimized.

There is a famous expression used by the most respected military experts: “If you want peace, prepare for war.” Appeasers consistently attract violence. This is true for individuals as much as it is for nations.

The more you prepare to deal with violence, the safer you will be. Predators of all types look for weakness and avoid people who walk and handle themselves with confidence.

Predators and abusers of all types are emboldened by weakness and appeasement. They are usually dissuaded by people who stand up to them; when that doesn’t work, they are stopped by a preemptive attack.

The choices you make will determine your safety. If you call 911, the police will not arrive in time to protect you. This is why it is so important to train in women’s self-defense. Yelling for help commonly fails to attract anyone willing to rescue you.

Contrary to news reports, violent crime is up as a result of cutbacks and law enforcement officers taking early retirement. If a crime has been committed, but no one is in immediate danger, and no one has died, police will no longer even come to the scene. That’s one of the reasons many violent crimes now go unreported, leading to false low levels of crime that get reported in the news.

When news media report a drop in crime, it’s because of a significant drop in arrest rates. But a drop in arrest rates does not translate to a drop in crime. What they fail to realize is that the reason for the enormous drop in arrest rates is due to police departments being understaffed. The reality is that violent crime is increasing. For various reasons police reports no longer even get filed except for when someone dies or goes to the hospital. See https://crimeresearch.org/ for the actual data.

There’s an expression: Police are minutes away when seconds count. Most law enforcement agencies are now understaffed since the defunding of police and the infusion of DEI and CRT into law enforcement agencies. This has led to serious morale problems in the law enforcement community. The most experienced officers are taking early retirement and the quality of new recruits is inferior to the quality of past recruits. DEI has been extremely demoralizing for experienced officers when they see that hiring and promotions are no longer purely merit based.

Another frustration of law enforcement officers is that thanks to so-called progressive prosecutors and soft-on-crime judges, violent predators get lenient sentences and go right back to preying on people as soon as they are released from prison. It is exasperating and demoralizing to see criminals you took off the streets being released right back onto the streets.

However, these soft-on-crime district attorneys and judges do the greatest damage to the public and to victims of crime by not keeping violent criminals behind bars. The DA and judge are commonly more interested in giving a humane sentence to a convicted rapist than in protecting the violent criminal’s victims. Stalkers, rapists, and all violent criminals need to be kept off the streets. What kind of sick culture is more concerned with giving humane prison sentences to the violent criminal than it is in protecting the public.

To make matters even worse, there have been many cases where a so-called sheepdog private citizen hero stepped in to defend someone being attacked, and these progressive district attorneys have prosecuted the hero who jumped in to protect the victim. This has led to an increase in witnesses being afraid to get involved. In fact, even law enforcement officers have talked about hesitating to get out of the patrol car to intervene in situations where they previously would have instinctively gone after the criminals.

You cannot rely on anyone to come to your rescue if you are attacked. All these soft-on-crime district attorneys, by failing to keep violent offenders behind bars, and instead prosecuting citizens who courageously try to rescue someone who is being attacked, are emboldening predators to attack more people.

Social Versus Asocial Violence: In a situation where there is a threat of social violence (fights based on ego), just walking away can often prevent the violence from occurring. In asocial violence (the ambush), turning and walking away will get you killed. In social violence, you are face-to-face with the threat; if you can’t walk away, you can usually avoid an attack by assertively and respectfully setting clear boundaries. In asocial violence, unless you are practicing situational awareness at a high level, you won’t see or hear the attack coming and the first thing you notice is that you have been grabbed, stabbed, or shot. This is why it is so important to be situationally aware of both your surroundings as well as of your feelings and premonitions.

Blending in: In terms of staying safe, whatever you do to get noticed will get the attention of predators. You can blend in by dressing in ways that don’t make you stand out in a crowd and by being a great observer rather than someone who makes your presence known wherever you go. This is particularly important when in an unfamiliar part of town or another culture, where behaving in a way that gets attention can be seen as disrespectful.

Dangerous predators also try to blend in because they want to capitalize on the element of surprise.

When in a public place, never mention in a loud voice where you are going next. You never know when a potential predator could be watching and listening. Remember, predators commonly blend in with everyone else; you can only recognize them with skillful profiling.

Relationships: It is very common to meet someone who appears to be very nice and very charming, who later turns out to be abusive and dangerous. Some of the most notorious mass murderers were known by neighbors and friends as being very nice people. At some point we have all been in the presence of that type of predator without being consciously aware of the danger. One famous example of that type of psychopathic predator was Ted Bundy. You may have a family member, acquaintance, neighbor, boss, co-worker, or anyone in an authority position fitting that description; be wary of them. Learn to honor subtle bodily cues that inform your intuition. And learn to trust subtle feelings that lead you to sense that something is not quite right. This may seem extreme, but before getting involved with someone you should profile them.

When speaking with someone you suspect could possibly be a predator, speak concisely, clearly, and assertively.

Although women do get ambushed by a stranger and sometimes even taken to a secondary location, the vast majority of violent attacks are by someone the woman already knows. Typically, a family member or trusted authority figure takes advantage of previously established trust in order to molest or rape.

In the class we address ways to break the freeze; one of the best ways is to practice just a few techniques until you master them, as opposed to learning dozens of techniques that you can’t possibly master. This prevents the confusion of what to do during a real attack. If you have mastered just two techniques, you will be able to break the freeze much faster than someone who has hundreds of techniques to consider.

In terms of self-defense, attacks happen fast and most predators can cover 21 feet in a second. You must get off the X and you must be able to move efficiently with speed in order to evade the attacker and also to be able to maneuver into position to get your attack through his defenses.

The Freeze: Although the freeze is common and normal for both men and women, you cannot think and reason your way out of it. It is important to utilize a heuristic, a hard and fast rule you can always fall back on. The one I like I got from Rory Miller (author of many books on the nature of violence); it is: “Move.” As a heuristic, it can be your automatic response to break the freeze. Every second that you delay in attacking your attacker, your risk of being raped and killed increases. That’s why you will want to practice just a handful of techniques until they become an automatic response, which will also help break or even prevent the freeze. Having to figure out which technique to use during an actual attack is very detrimental to breaking the freeze.

The most common thoughts that people have when they freeze are: “What is happening?” “Why is this happening?” “Is this really happening?” If you have just a handful of techniques that have become your automatic default techniques, you will be less likely to freeze.

If you train weekly with a training partner, and you have a few techniques that you instinctively deploy the instant anyone touches you or is about to touch you, you are less likely to freeze.

Willful Blindness: Related to The Freeze, when a trusted family member or trusted authority figure becomes an abuser of the young, small, or weak, this type of abuse is particularly traumatic and can interfere with the child’s ability to later recognize danger. Consciously, no one would knowingly allow anyone to sexually or otherwise abuse them. But when a child has been abused by a trusted parent or guardian, or by some other trusted authority like a priest, it can sometimes be difficult for that child to recognize what is taking place in a future molestation or rape. The child can end up being blind to the fact that someone else is now abusing them. Then, once they later realize it, they are often filled with feelings of shame and guilt for allowing it to happen again. In order to heal from the physical and/or emotional trauma, the victimized child or adult must come to accept that it was not and never could be their fault. It’s also important to get support and be helped to understand how to recognize potential predators.

Section Five: Psychopathology

Psychopathsaka (antisocial personality disorder) will victimize you and feel no remorse. They are often very charming, while being arrogant and very manipulative. There are psychopaths in high positions of almost every profession. You cannot recognize a psychopath by physical appearances. Although serial killers are all psychopaths, most psychopaths never commit physical violence. Many of us have been charmed by a psychopath at some point without actually falling victim to his or her manipulative behavior. Regardless of gender, we’ve all been charmed by psychopaths. It’s important to recognize various red flags. Countless women fell in love with Ted Bundy and several other charming, handsome psychopaths.
Sociopathswill victimize you, but unlike the psychopath, their behavior is learned. Similar to a psychopath, sociopaths are not easy to identify until you get to know them. And also as with psychopaths, they will hurt you or steal from you without any feelings of guilt or remorse.
Someone who is psychoticwill usually only commit violence as a result of paranoid delusions. Unlike psychopaths and sociopaths, psychotic people do not go around looking for victims. They are generally not a danger to be around unless they are paranoid and off their meds.
Morally bankrupt opportunists: Many people will take advantage of someone when the opportunity presents itself. Unlike the psychopath or sociopath, these opportunists may experience feelings of guilt and remorse for having taken advantage of someone. But their ethics may not be strong enough to stop them from taking advantage of someone else when the next opportunity presents itself.
Mob violence: Most people wouldn’t engage in violent behavior on their own. But they will engage in mob violence when they act on misinformation from trusted news media or disinformation from numerous online propaganda platforms. This is due to collectivist thinking.
Labile personality: There are many people who initially seem warm and friendly, but when they get triggered by a harmless comment, an angry, vengeful personality takes over. Stay away from people who are very easily offended by everything you say.
Bullies: There are bullies in all age groups and professions who sadistically attack anyone who appears vulnerable. Many school bullies remain bullies throughout life. Some can be violent when they see an opportunity. Like most predators, they generally don’t target people who appear strong and confident.
Religious fundamentalism: The majority of wars throughout history have been associated with religious beliefs and religious fundamentalists are commonly abusers in relationships. These are collectivist thinkers whose behavior is influenced by religious teachings.

Section Six: A Healthier Way of Life

Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem: Self-confidence (aka self-efficacy or the belief in one’s abilities) and self-esteem (self-valuing) are prerequisites to assertive boundary-setting that predators, bullies, and others will honor.

The challenge is that if you had a physically or emotionally abusive parent, guardian, sibling, spouse, domestic partner, boss, or anyone who over time bullied you in any way, your self-confidence and self-esteem suffered, and you live every day with some degree of post-traumatic stress.

Personally, as a child I suffered emotional abuse from a mentally ill mother, and my father appeased her due to his fear of her crazy behavior; I learned to do the same and appeasement became my default behavior when anyone acted a little off. Not speaking up hurt my self-confidence and self-esteem. My path to self-confidence improved as I later proved myself in various endeavors (martial arts, building two successful businesses, and enjoying a successful marriage). And my self-esteem improved when I was introduced to an ethical life philosophy; throughout life I have been guided by Ayn Rand’s philosophy of Objectivism.

Without self-confidence and self-esteem, your assertive boundary-setting won’t be taken seriously. Predators and bullies will be the first to recognize that your attempts to be assertive are tentative; they will see your apprehensiveness as weakness, which it is, and they will victimize you.

Self-confidence and self-esteem are also important to live a full and satisfying life.

By training in realistic self-defense, over time, you will develop the skills to defend yourself and the confidence that allows you to set boundaries that are honored by others.

When you stand up for yourself by setting clear boundaries, others will show deference and hold you in high esteem.

Being able to read the very subtle body-language and biometrics of others will allow you to know the intentions of others, and that skill set is another confidence builder.

Self-confidence engenders inner calmness. Many people mistake aggression for confidence and self-esteem. Actually, aggression is a sign of insecurity and is unconsciously used to hide that insecurity. Insecure people are often aggressive in some situations and passive in other situations. I know this from personal experience. Growing up, I’d hear people refer to me as “a hothead.” My behavior was the result of feelings of insecurity, which I unconsciously covered up by my outbursts.

Inner calmness and peace of mind come from being able to confidently and expertly set boundaries that are honored.

Inner calmness and peace of mind also come from the cultivation and practice of mindfulness-guided internal skills.

Situational awareness as I practice it is tied in to moving from my center and having my mind in my center. It is also a dynamic mindfulness practice, in that, each time I notice that I’m caught up in thinking about anything other than what is going on in this moment, I immediately return my full attention to my immediate environment and especially I return my attention to moving from my center.

Each time I notice that I’m caught up in thinking about anything, rather than being fully in the direct experience of energizing the body, I immediately return my full attention to walking from my center, breathing diaphragmatically, and filling the body with energy.

“This practice will make you stupid.” One of the masters I trained with told me that if I really commit to this (internal) practice, the practice will make me stupid. I fully committed to the practice and I’m proud to report that he was right. He would often laugh at how intellectual and philosophical I was.

The practice he taught me required placing my full attention in my center of mass (same as center of balance when standing) and maintaining that in all movement, not just martial arts training. It takes enormous concentration to do this. The mind will keep wandering and the practice is to keep returning our attention to our center, breathe diaphragmatically, and fill the body with energy.

Although I am still just as capable of getting into a deep philosophical discussion, I have less interest in doing so. Abstract thinking allows humans to accomplish extraordinary things. But I have become more interested in living a simpler life based on direct experience. Once we have a way of continually returning our attention to the reality of the present moment in our immediate environment, life becomes much simpler and calmer.

This practice is very uncomplicated, yet it is extremely difficult to maintain. However, the benefits are enhanced quality of life, increased energy, clearer thinking, improved state of mind, exceptional situational awareness, increased balance and coordination, and enhanced ability to move with extraordinary efficiency. In this state of mind, you are totally aware of everything in your immediate environment. In terms of self-defense, when in this mind-body state, you can see threats before the threat sees you.

Optimization of posture and body mechanics are essential in order to reduce mental and physical constriction. That in turn dramatically increases the speed and power of your techniques. This should be practiced throughout the day in all movement. Whenever you notice your posture and body mechanics are off, mindfully return your attention to how you are standing, walking, and moving.

Moving from your center of mass is a natural way of moving that is most likely the way ancient humans moved. It results in a more natural, more centered, more powerful, and very balanced way of moving.

Once you start moving this way you will discover that your mind will work in simpler, more present-oriented ways. You will have less interest in intellectualizing. Situational awareness will become your default. You will feel more in harmony with the natural environment.

Moving from your center requires a very committed, focused practice. The practice involves optimization of your biomechanics. In terms of biomechanics, it has to do with learning to move with optimal efficiency.

It takes a long time to undo the way we all originally learned to walk. If you study how almost everyone walks you will see that they (and you) are falling onto the forward foot. When people age and begin to lose their balance, they start tripping and falling. In walking from your center, your center moves first and balance becomes less important.

Your timing and angles of attack are enhanced by your ability to move well and hampered by your inability to move well. For example, a well-placed elbow to the back of the predator’s head can instantly end his attack, but to accomplish that feat requires considerable practice in how to move from your center. Once you can move from your center, the next step is to learn to put your full body mass into the elbow strike. So, if you weigh 100 lbs., your elbow will deliver 100 lbs.

Every move you make should put you in a position that is advantageous for you and disadvantageous for the predator. And each move you make should simultaneously optimize your angles of attack while making it harder for the predator to find the openings he needs in order to hurt you.

You must be able to move in all directions without tripping over objects or uneven ground. You won’t have time to look around, but when moving from your center, you will always be balanced and centered.

For the few people who have committed to training themselves to move from their center, even with daily committed practice it takes a couple of years to make it your default way of moving. You will be briefly introduced to this way of moving in the class I teach. It is very uncomplicated but it takes at least a couple of years to make the change after a lifetime of walking incorrectly.

The greatest benefit to this practice is that it leads to a much more embodied, physical way of life.

What you think of me is none of my business: As your situational awareness skills develop, there will be times when people will be insulted by your behavior. For example, you won’t get in an elevator with someone when you get an intuitive hit about that person possibly being unsafe to be around; that person may feel insulted. As you begin to walk assertively from your center with confidence, you will notice that more people will step aside and may be a little afraid of you. You will speak your truth rather than saying what you think others want to hear. Assertive, confident people who have healthy self-esteem are often resented and even feared.

It takes real courage to speak up for what is true for you when you are surrounded by people who are thoroughly indoctrinated in a very different life philosophy from your own. In my case, I’m an Objectivist. Objectivism or individualism is the philosophy of Ayn Rand. Objectivists make rational decisions based on what best serves their needs, as opposed to some compromise that is made so that the other person won’t get their feelings hurt.

Stop seeing threats where there are none. Animals other than humans recognize real threats because their minds are not being bombarded with irrelevant noise, propaganda, and conspiracy theories all day. When we eliminate all that insanity swirling around us, our world gets quiet and we are then able to recognize genuine threats.

One of the masters I trained with would just smile and walk away whenever students in the training hall tried to involve him in a discussion having to do with politics, the news, world affairs, or anything that was external to their practice.

I often feel as if I am in the quiet and tranquil eye of a hurricane. And I can stay there by recognizing the craziness swirling around me and staying away from it. What I refer to as craziness is all the stimulation that is totally irrelevant to our immediate environment or situation. We can experience a quieter, more peaceful way of life simply by avoiding the news and especially social media.

Spending your time and energy differently: One problem with the human condition is that we waste enormous mental energy thinking about people and situations that are not directly relevant to us. It seems to be our default. Only humans do this; all other animals are focused on moment-to-moment survival. Animals always react to threats. Humans often fail to react to real threats because we spend most of our time reacting to the imagined threats that bombard us through news media and especially social media. I try to be more animal-like.

This simpler way of life can help us have more energy because all the energy that is spent thinking about things that we have no control over is an energy drain. All the time and energy spent on social media and the news could be spent tuning in to our immediate environment with all our senses. My life got a lot richer when I stopped exposing myself to all the emotional sensationalism and conspiracy theories being spread in the news media and especially on social media. I now spend zero time with social media and minimal time on the news from the few sources I trust.

This way of life that I’m describing involves a commitment to changing our priorities from an external focus of paying a lot of attention to irrelevant events to an internal skill-building focus where we pay attention throughout the day to how to move, breathe, and sense.

How to Practice: Throughout the day, this practice set consists of concentrating on various practices while moving. It is best to practice while walking for two reasons. Walking is how we get around all day. Also, walking is automatic, so it is easy to incorporate this practice set into all walking throughout the day.

Feel energy flowing up the spine from coccyx up and out the crown of the head.
Feel energy perfusing the entire body.
As you walk, regardless of whether you are walking indoors or outdoors, and regardless of whether it is a smooth level floor or rough terrain, your center of mass (same as center of balance) should be leading.
In walking, once each foot lands, it should feel like the forward foot is pulling you forward.
Release all bodily tension.
Breathe diaphragmatically.
Know which foot you are standing on while walking.
The single most important aspect of this mindfulness practice is to return your attention to the practices on this list every time you find yourself thinking about anything other than these things.

Your intention should guide your actions: In the gentle sparring you will learn to focus on your intention. Your responsibility is to maintain the proper focused state, posture, and movement, regardless of what the partner is doing or her facial expression. When practicing self-defense or even using it in a real situation, you will perform optimally if you are clear on your intention and just focus on performing optimally. This is similar to living by your values. Your values should guide your actions in all areas of life.

Throughout this webpage I have written about the various aspects of self-protection. Situational awareness and profiling are emphasized. However, the human mind tends to keep wandering off in directions that are unrelated to our experience of the present moment. In fact, these wanderings effectively wall us off from our immediate environment. This can be an escape. Situational awareness is not conceptual; it is about simply paying attention to the purity of what is objectively occurring in our immediate environment from moment-to-moment.

In order to pay attention to everything in our immediate environment we must have a way to keep returning our attention to all the sensory input occurring in our immediate environment. This involves more than just paying attention to what’s going on around us. It also involves noticing our own biometric changes, such as changes in heart rate, respiration, temperature, sweating, bodily tension, and other biometric changes. Awareness of these changes inform us of sudden emotional changes, which in turn can inform us of very subtle intuitive hits.